Opening up, like really opening up, is so hard. It’s one of the hardest things to do and I’m awful at it. But if you just be patient with me and let me wiggle my way out, I’ll be there. I’ll be there 110% and I won’t hold anything back. So just wait for me. Wait.
I want a night with you. I want to close the curtains. I want to lay in bed and feel you breathing. I want the only noise to be my inhale replying to your exhale. I want to trace my fingers along every line and curve of your back. I want to feel your face buried into my neck. I want to lay like this and feel every worry melt the same way that I melt when I am with you.
Growing up, my mother taught me to never trust a soul more than I trusted myself. She imprinted lesson plans onto the backs of my eyelids which taught me that when the world had pushed me down, I should find the strength to get back up again. And because of this, I’ve always been the one who tried to be strong (even when I wasn’t) and stand on my own two feet. But the minute I saw you, truly saw you, I forgot how to work the muscles in my legs, unsure of how I should properly place them so that I didn’t fall flat on my face.
My mother never taught me what to do with my hands and she never taught me how to remember my back bone when remembering my heart. I became clay in your hands, just waiting for you to touch me, to mold me, to love me. My mother warned me against this, but she never knew you, she never saw your cracked ribs and rough hands and wished to dig deeper. You have stardust in your eyes, let’s make a supernova, a constellation, a stairway to the moon.
They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and it will take a long journey to reach there. But the specks in your iris form intricate galaxies and I’m almost positive that I will get lost in them before I make much progress. My mother’s voice still roars in my mind, warning me to take heed and guard my heart from anyone with a smile that was too beautiful. So, she certainly couldn’t foresee that I would willingly pluck my heart from my chest and present it in your hands, my aorta and vena cava tied together in a bow.
My mother used to take photos of the night sky, because she knew that goodness is only seen in sunlight and terror is only displayed when everything goes quiet; I think she was begging to find something that frightened her. So when you stood in front of me, my heart in your hands, and you did not speak, I knew my mother was taking pictures of you in the night sky - how beautiful, how terrifying you are displayed above me.
And here I stand, ready to take terror’s hand into mine
and there you stand, stained with my blood, but so very beautiful.
“I’m in love with you. Yeah, it’s that bad. You’re so beautiful to me. Shut up, let me tell you, let me. Every time I look at your face, or even remember it, it wrecks me. And the way you are with me, and you’re just fun and you shit all over me and you make fun of me and you’re real. I don’t have enough time in any day, to think about you enough. I feel like I’m gonna live a thousand years cause that’s how long it’s gonna take me to have one thought about you, which is that I’m crazy about you. I don’t wanna be with anybody else. I don’t. I really don’t. I don’t think about women anymore. I think about you. I had a dream the other night that you and I were on a train. We were on this train and you were holding my hand. That’s the whole dream, you were holding my hand and I felt you holding my hand. I woke up and I couldn’t believe it wasn’t real. I’m sick in love with you. It’s like a condition, it’s like polio. I feel like I’m gonna die if i can’t be with you and I can’t be with you, so I’m gonna die and I don’t care cause I was brought into existence to know you, and that’s enough. The idea that you would want me back? It’s like, greedy.”—Louis CK (via iamdiabetic)
“I want to be around people that do things. I don’t want to be around people anymore that judge or talk about what people do. I want to be around people that dream and support and do things.”—Amy Poehler (via endangerment)
I can only date someone who values me and doesn’t treat me like I’m disposable and easily replaceable. I don’t want to be treated like I’m just another girl or like at some point you’re going to get tired of me and say, “welp! It’s been fun but I’m ready to try that girl over there and then another after her.” Stability is important to me. I don’t want to feel unsure about us. I want to feel secure.
Seriously like put a baby inside me or leave me alone
“I would kiss you in the middle of a lightning storm. I would kiss you knowing it would kill me, cause I’d rather be left for dead than left to wonder what thunder sounds like.”—Andrea Gibson (via lovequotesrus)
“Don’t kiss me during the fireworks. Kiss me after and give everyone else something to look at once chaos has passed. Don’t kiss me when you don’t know what else to say, kiss me when that’s all that needs to be said. Don’t kiss me at all the right times, kiss me mid sentence because my lips were moving, and you were jealous of the air because they weren’t moving on yours. Don’t read up on old fairy tales I don’t want a fairy tale. I want real and in the moment. So kiss me when you’re up in flames and about to burst. Kiss me when the tears are doing all the work. Kiss me hard and kiss me good.
-Al”—Wouldn’t You Like To Know: (via caffenated)
“Do not fall in love with people like me
we will take you to
museums and parks
and kiss you in every beautiful
place so that you can
never go back to them
without tasting us
like blood in your mouth”—Gabriel Gadfly (via browneyed-girl-)
“If you find someone who makes you smile, who checks up on you often to see if you’re okay. Who watches out for you and wants the best for you. Who loves and respects you. Don’t let them go. People like that are hard to find.”—Unknown (via jttlv)